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Saturday Night Fight! RED SOX BABIES V YANKEES BABIES!

Clayton Mortensen is MY KING O HEAVENLY FATHER WE SING YOUR PRAISES AH-MEN!Just kidding, I believe in evolution.Pawtucket won 5-4 in ten innings, Clayton Mortensen pitched seven scoreless innings and...

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Um, yeah, no shit David Pauley was on drugs.

Although I'm sure it came as a surprise to people who have never seen someone on drugs before.A few years ago, I was watching a Red Sox post-game interview with the starting pitcher. (Have I talked...

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8.26.13 Pawtucket Red Sox v SWB RailRiders - Fukú v Zafa

Pawtucket wins 2-1, when Scranton held a 1-0 lead until the ninth inning and all signs pointed to a win for them. Allen Webster pitched great but Jose De La Torre got the win. The game was so well...

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8.27.13 Scranton Wilkes-Barre @ Pawtucket - Zinger

Scranton Wilkes-Barre wins, 2-1, so another tight little game. Win goes to Graham Stoneburner. I'll bet these teams are really sick of each other. Poor Drew Sutton, having to make awkward small talk...

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8.28.13 Pawtucket Red Sox v Syracuse Chiefs - She Scratches His Beard

Pawtucket defeats Syracuse, 5-4, thanks to Drew Sutton and no thanks to Pedro Beato. Win goes to De La reliever, save goes to IL All-Star Anthony Carter.Starting pitcher was Charlie Haeger, who god...

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They Saved Ryan Lavarnway's Brain (Didn't They?)

This is real live stuff from someone purporting to be Lavarnway, who last I heard attended a prestigious New England school. And maybe had a lobotomy."Never give up! Never surrender! That was...

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8.29.13 Pawtucket v Syracuse - Jackie Bradley Jr Takes It Like a Man

Pawtucket wins, improbably, 2-0. Zany. Freshie Matt Barnes gets the win in his Triple-A debut, so thanks for this, Meat.Barnes pitched 5 1/3 innings, was replaced in the middle of the sixth so lefty...

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8.31.13 Pawtucket v Syracuse - It's just a shame that's all.

The Syracuse Chiefs take it, 2-1. Sorry, Syracuties, you missed it by 12.5 games. It's all Cole Kimball's fault.Starter for Pawtucket was Allen Webster, who threw 67 pitches and split. That has nothing...

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9.1.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Alex Hassan Will Never Die

Pawtucket wins, 5-0, in a game that got rained all over so they only played six innings. Or five and a half. The IronPigs essentially said, you know what, it's shitty rain out and who cares and we're...

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9.2.2013 Ending of everything, the ending is everything.

PawSox win, 4-0 over the Lehigh Valley IronPigs over there in Allentown, where there's corn and airports and affordable housing and the star of Bethlehem and lager. And Lager. This country was promised...

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9.4.13 Post-season's Greetings From Rochester!

New York is beautiful this time of year! Pawtucket got crushed, 7-1, mostly thanks to Ranaudo having an off night. He only pitched two innings on account of sucking. In fact, after the game he found a...

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9.5.2013 Pawtucket defeats Rochester, 7-2.

And the Durham Bulls are 2-0. Feisty, feisty Rochester is not going to lie down for the Pawtuckets, nohow.Starting P for the Red Sox was Clay Buchholz, who pitched like one inning and then hit the...

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9.6.2013 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - Maximum Big Surprise

Red Sox defeat Red Wings in Pawtucket, 5-1. Steven Wright gets the win for the RI Sox.Wright pitched 6 1/3 innings. The Red Wings got six hits off Wright, but could not translate them into runs. Wright...

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Playoff bound, playoff gagged.

I went to the game on Saturday night, even though I had a couple of other much more fun things I wanted to do. In many ways, Pawtucket did me a favor by losing that night because I got to attend a...

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9.10.2013 Pawtucket Red Sox v Durham Bulls - Brock Holt's Perceived Value

Pawtucket wins a squeaker, 2-1, in what was truly a defensive game. Good thing we've got Holt. It was pretty exciting, wish I could have been there.Starter for the PawSox was Anthony Ranaudo. Ranaudo...

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9.11.2013 This is the fucking playoffs.

Durham wins 2-1, which is good not bad because this is super cereal. Did you know that I do not know how to type?Starter for Pawtucket Red Sox was Steven Wright, and damn it, Wright did a fantastic...

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As a woman I was taught to always be hungry.

Could not help but notice last night that the Pawtucket press box was a total bro-fest.Well, that's not exactly what I mean. "Bro-fest" does not express a complete absence of ladies.I should have said...

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9.13.13 If you're gonna sleep like that, then you might as well be dead. BRYCE.

I don't know if I can ever forgive Bryce Brentz for his shit performance last night. And because I'm feeling kinda dirty, feeling kind of mean, here's a picture of a MILF. Hey, isn't that Bryce Brentz'...

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There's just so much I need to warn you about. And yet, tragically, I cannot.

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Maria Delgado wanted to spend more time with her kids, anyway.

Finally over.I don't have any strong feelings about that last game. Could be because I was essentially sucking beer out of the McCoy Stadium taps by the third inning. Charlie Haeger is not a strong...

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